Criticult.Com

"Jews with swords". That is what Michael Chabon wanted to name this book according to his afterword. And the title would not be far off. "Gentlemen of the Road" tells the tale of Zelikman, a German Jew, and Amram, an African Jew, and their various adventures in 1000AD Europe. We first meet the 2 in a tavern, staging a fight to con the oblivious drunk patrons out of some coins. No sooner are they about to abscond with their money then they are found out and have to high tail it out of town. But not before being asked to escort a boy to his uncle's fortress by an elderly fellow who unfortunately gets dead when the townspeople discover they've been conned and catch him with an arrow meant for our heroes.

With that the tale is off and running and doesn't slow down until the final page. There is action, drama, romance, intrigue, and all those other things the publishers would like me to relay to you readers.

What sets "Gentlemen of the Road" apart from similar adventure potboilers is that I needed a dictionary (preferably from 1000 AD) to figure out what the hell half of the descriptions were describing. Chabon writes the novel as if he were living in that time as well. This can take a bit of getting used to and the jarring mix of a familar tale told with archaic wordplay can be slow going.

However once you get past the first couple of chapters you figure out to stop dwelling on not understanding every third word and just going along with the flow. It's not a complicated plot so it isn't too difficult to just blow past the jargon but you still can't help but think you are missing something. The writing style brings to mind classics like "Count of Monte Christo" and "Treasure Island" and to be honest would make an incredibly entertaining movie. Each chapter ends on somewhat of a cliffhanger and keeps you reading even when you should be turning out the light and going to sleep.

It doesn't compete with "The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" or "Wonder Boys" but "Gentlemen of the Road" is a fun (and short) book that Chabon fans should seek out.

Labels: Cannonball Read, TylerDFC

I'm a Kevin Smith fan. I know the guy has his detractors but I've liked everything he's done, even Jersey Girl. I've seen his DVDs An Evening With Kevin Smith and the follow-up Evening Harder and the guy knows how to tell an anecdote that's for damn sure.

Those anecdotes are where Silent Bob Speaks really shines. The book is a collection of columns Keven Smith wrote for Arena Magazine, Details, New Jersey Monthly, and Film Comments. They range from amusing to hilarious. Unsurprisingly, the really funny stuff is when Kevin is dishing on his experiences with various actors and actresses. Of particular note is his animosity toward "Greasy Reese Witherspoon" and his plan for revenge is so moronic and juvenile it is near brilliant.

As a writer, Kevin is no-holds-barred with his opinions. He writes how he speaks which makes for an incredibly easy read. At times he loses his unique voice, especially the chapters in which he interviews Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise. It's pretty funny when he writes about his unabashed love for Affleck and how Cruise completely brings him under his spell.

What it does not go into is the apparent curse that Kevin brings to his interviewees. It wasn't long after these pieces were published that Affleck had a run of failed movies and, well, we all know what happened to Cruise's stature.

Aside from the behind the scenes dirt he also offers a few personal pieces about such diverse subjects as his experiences with fat-buster drug Xenical, and his wife posing nude for a painting. He ends the book with an unpublished essay on the San Diego Comic-Con. It's hilarious and brings new meaning to the phrase "tongue in cheek".

Silent Bob Speaks is a fun book for the fans, a fast read, and includes some hilarious bits, mostly at Kevin's expense. His self-deprecation is own full display and it would almost get grating if it also didn't come off as completely honest. If anything I have a bit more respect for the man now then I already did. He knows the kind of filmmaker he is, and he is happy to keep making the movies he wants to make. They cost little and he has enormous freedom to keep doing what he wants to do. Not a bad gig.

Labels: Cannonball Read, TylerDFC

I rarely buy hardback books on day of release. The only exception to the rule is Neil Gaiman. When I was younger I was a Stephen King Constant Reader until I started to become Constantly Disappointed. I bought all of sai King's books the day they came out and then went home and devoured them. A quick glance to my book shelf reveals 3 King books unread (Lisey's Story, Duma Key and Blaze)and I really have no idea when I'm going to get to them. It' s not a question of not having time, I make time to read. But there is just no motivation to tackle them. Now that The Dark Tower is over everything he is releasing since his "retirement" just feels like epilogue. I will defend the man to the day I die for The Eyes of the Dragon, IT, The Shining, and The Stand but he just doesn't do it for me anymore.

Which brings me to Neil Gaiman. I first came upon him like a lot of people it seems, through Good Omens, his collaboration with Terry Pratchett. From that point forward I began reading all the Gaiman works I could get my hands on. There is nothing quite like the sheer joy of finding a new writer and in short succession I went through Neverwhere, Stardust, and Sandman. I still remember to this day where I was when I finished American Gods (I played hooky from work to finish it and spent the afternoon in the garage getting more and more drunk on Captain and Coke and nicotine) and his short story collection Smoke & Mirrors contains some of my favorite short stories by any writer. This is long and rambling way of saying I'm a fan and I bought The Graveyard Book when it came out. I would have finished it sooner but I was half way through Terry Pratchett's Making Money and had to finish it first.

In the afterword to The Graveyard Book Gaiman says the novel owes a debt to Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book. I can see that. But there is another more recent work that I think was at least subconsciously influencing Gaiman: Harry Potter.

There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife.

This opening line of the book sets the tone and hooks you immediately. On the night his entire family is murdered by the man Jack, a toddler unknowingly escapes to a nearby graveyard. The ghosts of the graveyard protect the child and raise him as their own until he grows to adulthood. The child, given the name Nobody Owens, is granted the Freedom of the Graveyard and gains most of the powers of the ghostly inhabitants. But outside of the graveyard, the killer Jack still seeks for the child that got away and won't give up until he finished the job.

The novel is broken into separate chapters, each one a short story that reveals part of a larger story arc. As in Harry Potter, it starts when Nobody (shorted to Bod) is 4 years old and each chapter finds him a few years older. As his age increases, so does the danger until he is forced to use all of his knowledge and powers of the graveyard to defeat the man Jack and stop an ancient prophecy from claiming Bod's life.

Like all of Neil Gaiman's works, there is a poetry and ease of language to a lot of his descriptions and dialogue. I was consistently surprised by the story as things never go quite how you expect them to. Unlike JK Rowling's style, Gaiman allows his story to breathe with details that end up not having anything to do with the overall plot. I am a fan of Rowling and enjoyed all of the Harry Potter books, however characterization is her weakness and every event in those books has some connection to the overall story. There is a chapter in The Graveyard Book in which the ghosts leave the graveyard to dance with the living people of the village and it is a beautifully rendered scene that has no purpose to the overall story. It's a "throwaway" scene that helps to round out the characters even more and is haunting, beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time.

There are many touches like that and some action scenes barely described that it really makes you wonder why Gaiman didn't write a longer work than this slim 300 page novel. I'm not a fan of this new mandate that any story worth telling is certainly worth telling in a trilogy but in this case I wanted more. The Graveyard Book is beautifully written and deserves a place on your shelf next to Gaiman's best.

Labels: Cannonball Read, TylerDFC

When not editing LC's drivel over at www.rufkm.net to insure readability(and contributing my own) I tend to hang out at Pajiba.com. There is a contest going on right now between various members of the site to read 100 books in a year starting Sept 1, 2008. Am I a bit late? Yes. Will I hit 100 books by Sept 1, 2009? Not a damn chance. However, I read a hell of a lot so this isn't too much of a stretch. Maybe this way I'll stop surfing the internet pointlessly when bored. Probably not but it's nice to have goals.

First up: The Graveyard Book- Neil Gaiman

Labels: TylerDFC

I wish I could take credit for this. I don't know who wrote it. But it is hilarious and worth sharing so here you go. Click the video, then sing along with the alternate lyrics below.


What would Sarah Palin do
If she were here right now,
She'd run for VEEP
And wink at you
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

When Sarah Palin was in the pageant,
Vying for the crown,
Her Alaskan beauty told all in sight
Wasilla was best town.

When Sarah Palin became the gov,
Stopping wasteful pork,
She fired the chef and sold the plane
With Trig en route by stork.

So what would Sarah Palin do
If she were here today,
I'm sure she'd hunt a moose or two,
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

I want a voice to speak for me
One to replace my brilliant Hillary

And I just want Congress
To end partisan gridlock

For Chuck Heston I'll join the NRA too
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin would do.

And what would Sarah Palin do,
She'd leap o'er the Bering Strait
Shoot Putin dead while aiming true,
That's what Sarah Palin would do.

When Sarah Palin travelled through time
To the year 3010,
She debated godless aliens
Saving Christian truth again.

And when Sarah Palin rebuilt the White House,
She captured John Wilkes Booth
'Cause Sarah Palin unblinkingly reps A-mer-i-ca

So let's vote Republican,
And trounce celeb Obama
And we'll elect that old guy too,
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin'd do.

And we'll elect that old guy too,
'Cause that's what Sarah Palin'd do,
That's what Sarah Palin'd do.

Labels: TylerDFC