Criticult.Com

Ah, the continuing adventures of the 70 foot, 100 ton Megalodon shark, Angel, and the family that keep and fear her. Hell's Aquarium is book 4 in the MEG series and it starts with things not going well and ends with things considerably worse.


It has been near 30 years since Jonas Taylor first discovered that the once thought extinct Carcharadon Megalodon sharks have been living in the depths of the Marianas Trench. After 3 books worth of mayhem caused by the sharks they are now safely (HA!) ensconced in a custom built aquarium in San Diego. Trouble brews when Angel's (short for The Angel of Death) truly terrifying brood (Bella, Izzy, Mary Kate, and Ashley...no lie) start turning on each other.

To combat this Jonas decides to sell 2 of the pups (each one 15 foot long) to a Dubai prince for his upcoming Hell's Aquarium, the most advanced, largest sea enclosure, and future home of the scariest fishies in the history of the planet. Ever. As part of the deal his son David goes along to care for the sharks and train a team in the operation of a prototype submersible. Their mission is to go to the newly discovered Panthallasic Sea (hidden beneath the sea floor off the Philippines) to find the many, MANY prehistoric monsters that have made their home there for millenniums for display in the aquarium.

Meanwhile a go-gooder animal rights group, suffering from some sort of brain damage, seem to think that releasing the 30 foot Bella and Izzy into the wild is a good idea and begin sneakily trying to do just that. But Angel is growing restless in her enclosure and drastic measures are needed to control her, which results in Angel getting some unexpected drop ins for dinner.

This is all potboiler nonsense but makes for a hell of a fun read. Alten writes in the present tense which takes a bit to get used to but tends to make everything more suspenseful. It's an interesting trick that works for a thriller. The book gets bogged down in the over-long ending that introduces lots of creatures in a small time frame in a "that one was big, but THIS one is huge!" constant one-up manship that gets a little irritating. The primary issue I have with the book is the extremely sloppy epilogue that fails to wrap up anything but sets up book 5 (to be called Night Stalkers) and the supposed finale to the series.

I've been consistently surprised Alten has gotten as much mileage out of this silly series as he has so I'll happily go along for one last harrowing dive to the depths of the ocean when Night Stalkers comes out in a couple of years.

But I have about 100 unanswered questions I hope he bothers to address this time.

{Further books in the MEG series are: MEG, The Trench, and MEG: Primal Waters}

Labels: Cannonball Read, TylerDFC

I don't know how the game is going to be, but this video for upcoming MMO Star Wars: The Old Republic is pretty much what I envisioned the prequels to be and instead got rastafarian rabbit creatures and emo-Anakin.

http://www.swtor.com/media/trailers/deceived-cinematic-trailer

Labels: TylerDFC

There isn't a great deal to say about When You Are Engulfed in Flames. It's David Sedaris so you know what you are going to get and are either a fan or you are not. There are stories about living in France and other countries abroad, there are stories about his family, and stories about the everyday things that he notices. After 6 books the descriptions are all pretty much the same.

However, I would put When You Are Engulfed in Flames second only to Me Talk Pretty One Day. This is his tightest collection yet, and every story has at least 1 or 2 laugh out loud moments and most have several. The focus is off his family this time and really concentrates more on his life with his long time partner Hugh. This helps the stories to not feel like they are treading over the same ground, while still linking nicely to the earlier books.

A large chunk of the book is dedicated to David's attempts to quit smoking and offer a very funny history lesson in how cultural acceptance of smoking has changed dramatically from the 60's until today. After several failed attempts to quit, he and Hugh move to Tokyo for the winter for a change on scenery. Here, David enrolls in a class to learn to speak and write Japanese. The 50 page story expertly interweaves the trials of trying to quit, along with doing something very difficult (speaking Japanese) without the crutch of a cigarette, and also several observations of Japanese culture vs. US and European. It is easily the highlight of the book.

The book is a fast read but just as engaging as his previous works. There was just something here that made me like it more. Naked tread some very dark material and the lighter touch just
works better for the humor.

Labels: Cannonball Read, review, TylerDFC

Despite what is going on at my other site hereRUFKM reviews May 8 West Palm Beach NIN/JA Tour Kick Off Show, I have to admit this video is pretty damn great.

Labels: music, TylerDFC, video

Go Go Girls of the Apocalypse is one of the most enjoyable books I’ve read in some time. Is it great literature? No, it most certainly is not. But that really doesn’t matter because the book is just so damn fun. I decided a while ago that if I happen to luck into a vast fortune I would open my own movie studio and option the rights to the novels I love. This book would definitely be on that list. {Along with Song of Kali, Dies the Fire, The Eyes of the Dragon, Dead in the Water, and The Eyre Affair to name but a very few.}

The blurb on the cover calls Go Go Girls a cross between Quentin Tarantino and Christopher Moore. The book does take place partly in a strip club, but otherwise I don’t know why Tarantino’s name came up. I would say it is a cross between Terry Pratchet, Carl Hiaasen, and the Fallout games.

It has been 9 years since a financial meltdown and nuclear war (among other calamities) decimated the world. All that time, Mortimer Tate has been hiding in a cabin in the mountains in Tennessee with a very healthy stash of supplies and weapons. One day he sees some men coming up the mountain toward his house. He hasn’t seen another soul since the apocalypse years before. He goes out to try and greet them but ends up startling them with his sudden appearance - his cabin is hidden in a cave – and is forced to kill the 3 men. This encounter spurs Mortimer to try and rejoin what is left of society and sends him careening from one adventure to another with his friend Bill, a gunslinger, Sheila, a stripper. He quickly learns that the new economy hinges entirely on Armageddon Dollars, found exclusively at Joey Armageddon’s Sassy-A-Go-Go and its franchise locations. Joey’s is a strip club/brothel that is also a hotel, armory, and supply station and our heroes visit them often, but it is only in the final chapters that the importance of the club becomes apparent from a story telling perspective.

This book is all plot and comic details and unfolds much like a video game. There is little time for deep characterization as Mortimer and his friends get in one scrape after another while fighting (and running) from cannibals, asylum inmates, scavengers, and other denizens of the post apocalyptic world. Just when they seem to be safe some new danger erupts and they have to react quickly. This is repeated throughout the novel. The middle chapters get a little tedious as it jumps from action scene to action scene but the final 100 pages settles down as the plot comes fully into focus and sets the stage for an epic - yet very funny - war.

To say more would be to give away too much. The fun with this book lies in getting sucked into this weird post-apocalyptic world as the little in jokes and references begin to pile up. I laughed out loud several times and had a blast with it and was surprised by the ending, but completely satisfied. Even as I read the last page of the epilogue I could see it unfolding as a movie, down to the final line as the music gets louder and the credits begin to roll.

The next time you are complaining there are no good movies get yourself a copy of this book, a nice comfortable chair, and your drink of choice and read the best summer movie that has yet to be made.

Labels: Cannonball Read, TylerDFC