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Here's to you, Mr. Driving Around With Your Parking Lights On All Day Guy!
Background Singer: Mr. Driving Around With Your Parking Lights On All Day Guy!
You wanted daytime running lights but they weren’t an option on your cheap import. But you’ve never played by the rules. No, not you. You’re the kind of guy who thinks outside the box.
Background Singer: Outside the boooooooowwwoowoooooooox!
As soon as the clock hits four PM you reach for the switch. Not too hard now, gently…gently…you don’t want to turn it all the way because that would actually turn the headlights on. No, you’re going halfway…you’re going for that sweet orange glow...like a cat’s eyes….
Background female singers: Sweeeeeeet orange glooooowoooooooooowww!!
Look at all those daytime running lights. They’re just as big a traffic hazard but they don’t look nearly as cool as you do. You’re menacing. You’re dangerous. You’re a little timid because you didn’t just turn your fucking lights on but mostly just menacing and dangerous.
Background Singer: Daveeeeeeeey, Daaaaaaaaveeeee Crockett!
Yes, you drive around all in the broad daylight with your lights half on, but not completely on because you’re making a point. Sure, you’re distracting to other drivers. Maybe you could just turn your lights all the way on. And maybe it doesn’t make you any easier to see. But that’s not the point. Your car looks like it’s in one of those commercials where the guy skids through the water, knocks over all those orange cones, offers zero percent financing until January and then gets the girl in the bathing suit.
You’re a Rock Star, my friend. You ARE…
Background Singer: Mr. Driving Around With Your Parking Lights On All Daaaaaaaayyyyaaaaaayyyaaaayyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaay Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
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